New Mascot for the Republicans

 "Wanamaker?  He's a trouble-maker!"  

This, my wife told me, not once but many times.  Did I listen?  No, but I should have.  

Wanamaker is a deep thinker.  He is philosophically opposed to driving, so he sticks mostly to our town and rides his bicycle everywhere.  Even in Winter.  Even in snow.  

A couple of days ago, he came into the store.  It was blazing hot outside, and while he is philosophically opposed to Air Conditioning, his convictions do not prevent him from coming into my store to cool down.

"I have made an important advance in Political Science," he told me, interrupting my work.

"OK.  What is it now?" I asked, against my better judgement.

He pulled out a piece of paper with a cartoon on it;

"It's a happy elephant," I said.  "Where is its rear-end?"

"Not important," continued Wanamaker.  "Now what does a picture of an Elephant remind you of?"

"The zoo?" I asked.

"No, no!" he said, "I mean, politically."

"Uhhh, wait.... An American Political Party?" 

"Exactly!  The Republicans!"

"Cut me some slack, eh?" I countered.  "This is Canada.  American politics is not my strong suite."

"A single Elephant has been the emblem of the Republican Party for many decades," continued Wanamaker, "but now that the Republicans have increased their power and scope, they really need something more--symbolically."

"More than an elephant?" I queried.  

"I'm talking about more elephants!" Wanamaker concluded in triumph.  "You don't get it."

I guess my face gave me away.

"OK then, just look at this--"

He pulled another piece of paper out of his pocket and smoothed it out on the counter.  It was a complex design.  At first I thought it was a bunch of bones.

"Do you see it?" asked Wanamaker eagerly.

"OK-- Four elephants?"  

"Exactly!  Four Elephants!"

"I still don't get it," I told him.  "How is this a better emblem for the Republicans than one Elephant?"

Wanamaker rubbed his hands together.  "It represents all that the Republicans have become!  The Republicans have combined Government, Industry, Politics and the Courts into a single, integrated streamlined system that puts our enemies in their place and gets money back from all the people who have been taking advantage of the Americans all these years."

I still looked puzzled.

"It's highly symbolic," he continued.  "See the way that the feet of the Elephants interlock-- Everything is coordinated, streamlined--efficient!"   He continued, "I think I should put it at the centre of something.  Maybe the Centre of a Circle!  And put it on a flag of Republican Red..."

"Wanamaker," I said, "I think you're stirring up trouble.  You'd better stick to Canadian Politics.  They're a lot easier to understand than the US variety."   

And with that, I went back to work..